This thorny
old issue of whether making resolutions does in fact
lead to any change. It’s kind of interesting;
here we are at the beginning of a New Year. In one way
it is a relatively blank screen – at least blank
in our attitude towards it. Of course we carry over
old issues, demands and plans from the old year but
our attitude for this New Year and what we desire to
create in it are areas we do have some creative say
in. And I believe it is a pretty powerful say if we
choose to engage it.
Many people have tried, on their own, to set goals or
intentions that haven’t lead to the results they
want. When this cycle is engaged in and repeated a number
of times a very unfortunate thing happens. People become
cynical and develop a belief that nothing will really
change and then create an attitude of resignation. It
saddens me to see this because people then get separated
from their greatest success and their most satisfying
sense of aliveness, from the expression of their soul.
Develop a Creative Attitude
One way
to side step this is to look at the basic attitude you
have towards this creative possibility we have. What
kind of relationship do you want to have with this New
Year – do you want to engage in living it as a
collaborator, being open to opportunities as they are
presented and looking at them in a fresh way? Are you
interested in living this life fully, committed to responding
to what occurs outside of your habitual responses? Or
have you developed the cynicism I mentioned and find
yourself proceeding with the same old attitude - maybe
that of adversary or of victim. Do you see this year
as an open door, a space in which there is possibility
or as a script you have already read over and over again.
This very basic orientation and attitude is one that
is important to examine and choose again for yourself.
And then choosing this attitude consciously every day
begins in and of itself to have a major impact on your
experience and what you will accomplish this year.
Envision your Goal already Accomplished
When you
are ready to look at goals or intentions, I recommend
starting at the end. Let yourself use your imagination
to envision where you want to be at this time next year,
let yourself play with it and get a feel for what it
is like. Once you do that you can begin to identify
the gap that exists between where you are now and where
you see yourself in this next leap. You can take a few
areas of your life: career, relationships, money, health
and do this envisioning exercise to see where you wish
to be at the end of this year.
Write Your Goals
Then it is
very important to write these goals- what do you want
to create in each of these areas, what do you want to
bring forward and accomplish in each. In doing this
with a client the other day I was struck with what she
came to in the area of relationship. Rather than a specific
goal she said that she wanted to develop more patience
with her family. When I asked her to see if she could
experience a symbol or image of that patience for herself
she quickly came up with the image someone in a very
challenging yoga pose. As talked about the image we
realized it gave her more information about what she
needed in order to develop more patience – the
pose required a certain strength and solidity, flexibility
and trust that the pose was even possible. This simple
exercise helped her understand more about the patience
she wants. She could see that if she goes into situation
with her family feeling her own strength so she isn’t
pulled off center and yet flexible to someone else’s
timing and trusting that patience is possible for her
– she will be more patient. I feel very confident
that as she comes back to this over and over this next
year – her major relationships will be changed
and transformed, as she will be.
Don’t Overwhelm Yourself
It is very
important when setting goals and intentions to not overwhelm
yourself – begin with chunks that are doable and
allow yourself the joy of reaching those smaller steps.
Often people feel like they have to reorganize their
whole lives in order to get started on something new
– when in fact the most powerful way is to just
start taking an action in that direction. For instance
with fitness goals people often feel they have to go
out a buy the “right” equipment, join a
gym and redo their whole calendar. While you may eventually
want to do some of these things what is most powerful
is to just go out today and start walking or do something
that allows you to feel the movement towards your goal.
If one of your goals is to begin a mediation or reflective
practice – just stop for five minutes and start
now. If you are developing your business – set
one strategic meeting that will begin to move you forward.
When we get out of our own way and just start remarkable
things can sometimes happen.
Get the Right Support
Find the
support you need to move in the direction you are creating.
Surround yourself with the relationships that recognize
the value of what you are doing. I can’t overemphasize
this piece. You may need to keep your goal or direction
somewhat private and only share it with people you know
will support you. The wrong negative comment when starting
something new can derail your movement. A coach can
help you develop goals that are in line with your real
talent and ability and support you through the various
phases of bringing that to success. For those of you
that would like to explore this further with me there
are a number of ways to proceed:
- Sign up for my free email class at www.conniebutler.biz
click on Events and Programs
- Join a coaching group I am starting in February designed
to make this year a powerful
turning point in your life. These are held on a telephone
bridge line so geography is no barrier. Call for information
- Sign up for a package of 3 individual sessions of
a half hour each for $150.00 to get started on YOUR
goals.
- Take the leap and begin individual coaching and get
the support and creative input you need to step forward
powerfully into this New Year.
One of the
resources I am offering people in the Miami area is
a six-week series of presentations, A Short Course in
the Skill of Success beginning again on Wednesday, January
14th from 7-8:30pm at Shin Wellness at 2125 Biscayne
Blvd. In the class we look at various limiting boxes
and strategies to move beyond them And how to develop
the success that will satisfy you.
Visit the events page of my website www.conniebutler.biz
to learn more about it.
Coaching provides
you with a space in which to develop your success, talents,
and resources – a place to define and build the
steps beyond what you already know – into the
yet unknown aspects of your greatest success and satisfaction.
Coaching can help you move into unknown territory and
create a life you love to live.
