What is Coaching Anyway?
One of the initial issues I often find with new clients is that of describing to them what coaching really is and the scope of it. I think at the core it is a very special relationship, one in which all of the attention is placed on developing the life, business and concerns of the client. One in which a particular form of conversation is engaged in, one that focuses on reaching the heart of a client's dreams for themselves, for their work, for their expression in the world. It is a conversation in which the coach constantly holds the space open for a client to take a step back to see what is REALLY happening and to take a long look toward a richer future.
A coach is:
- a change agent,
- someone who contributes by evoking excellence in others,
- someone who bridges the difficulties of the past by fostering an expanded, successful future,
- a mentor, the chairman of your personal board of directors,
- a collaborator dedicated to your individual development and growth and that of your business,
- a navigator through the mists of confusion and transition to a more ordered, fully, functioning and satisfying life.
Catching the flavor of what coaching can hold for a new or prospective client is always an exciting moment for me Ð one in which I am free to paint a picture of possibility Ð one in which a client can envision a new possibility for themselves. Engaging in coaching begins the process of making that vision a reality. After working with individuals for over 18 years I know in my bones that in order to leverage real change, whether that is in one's personal life or in one's professional life several things are needed: clarity, connection to resources both internally and externally, commitment, creativity and real support. Often what holds a person back is some outdated view of themselves and of reality-some premise that may be so engrained in their sense of self that they can't even begin to recognize it. In coaching we engage in the kind of conversation that uncovers and challenges this premise.
I work with people who are going through major transitions such as divorce or moving to a new position. These are potentially very stressful times. They are times when some pick up old strategies or habits from the past and find themselves repeating the same old mistakes. They may not know how to envision a new possibility for themselves, don't see how to access the resources needed to make a change. Or they see the possibility but become discouraged by the obstacles that arise. When a person abandons their best future for any reason I believe it is a waste Ð a waste of what a person needs in order to be fully alive in the world and a waste for the world because their real gifts are not contributing to the world.
I have had clients who have been successful in their careers but found that something has always been missing Ð what they have done does not really "hit the mark". They do not "feel" like they have done what they truly wanted. Perhaps they take 2 years off to explore what might be next. At the end of the two years no clarity has been reached. Going back into the past is not the answer here. Finding the support to challenge assumptions and trying a fresh approach is. If not, all sides of the equation lose.
I work with Entrepreneurs. What if someone has a great idea for a business, one wrapped around their real talent and contribution and a series of obstacles has left them discouraged? They consider selling the business. When they allow themselves to stop and give up - all of their work is lost. Their prospective clients, who they might have helped, lose and they lose. They have fulfilled a long standing negative belief that some people can be successful but not them. But with the right coaching this territory can become a stepping stone to a bright future not the end of the road.
These are all real life scenarios Ð stories I hear every day and instances in which coaching has really helped to move people past the barrier, through the web of confusion to a whole new place in their lives.
I was speaking to a client last week and she told me of an incident that had just occurred. We had been working for a couple of months on her business goals and a new and wonderful opportunity as the General Manager of a business had come up. She was struggling to see herself in this new role. She was sitting out by her pool thinking about this and about to go for a swim when she noticed a twig in the water. After gazing at it for a little while she realized it was a small snake. She is deathly afraid of snakes. She freaked out and ran for her husband. He was going to remove the snake but she was so afraid that she told him to wait until she left for work. As she was dressing she recognized that she could conquer this and witness him removing the snake. That simple act Ð watching the small snake be removed from the pool showed her that she was larger than all of her fears. She was on the brink of a whole new expansion in her life and a whole wave of self-doubt and fear had been holding her back. In that instance she understood something that will serve to move her business going forward and grow all other aspects of her life. It was an indication of the profound transformation that was occurring in her.
I am always open to answering you questions about coaching, what it is and what it can do to help you transform your life. Send me your questions at connie@conniebutler.biz
"There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle"
~ Albert Einstein